Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize