OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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