just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
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legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
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I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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