i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
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i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
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Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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