just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
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The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
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I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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