Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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