we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Sorry my hands just texted you
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
