god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize