I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
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Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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