Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.

Fav 17 2578 950
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(773): View more from Illinois

Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.

Fav 39 4324 1463
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(970): View more from Colorado

she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.

Fav 74 1082 2963
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(612): View more from Minnesota

I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.

Fav 52 6842 3885
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(313): View more from Michigan

I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.

Fav 21 6462 1462
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(859): View more from Kentucky

did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring

Fav 24 13082 2007
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(561): View more from Florida

I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets

Fav 1 587 676
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(802): View more from Vermont

just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture

(1-802): View more from Vermont

thank god there was never an after picture.

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