it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
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you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
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I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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