dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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