you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize