i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize