My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize