You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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