How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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