Texts From Last Night

Best Nights of All Time

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  (916): View more from California

  I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...

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  (916): I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed... http://tfl.nu/imcz
  Replies (0) Good night (510) Bad night (135) Order T-Shirt
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  (323): View more from California

  i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy

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  (323): i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy http://tfl.nu/zhtt
  Replies (1) Good night (510) Bad night (719) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.

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  (262): So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt. http://tfl.nu/9ocn
  Replies (24) Good night (510) Bad night (5073)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better

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  (405): As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better http://tfl.nu/3xhu
  Replies (6) Good night (510) Bad night (1124) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.

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  (416): He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco. http://tfl.nu/xwo8
  Replies (4) Good night (510) Bad night (235) Order T-Shirt
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  (077): View more from

  it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner

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  (077): it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner http://tfl.nu/m2q7
  Replies (28) Good night (510) Bad night (4081) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing

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  (310): Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing http://tfl.nu/gwvn
  Replies (3) Good night (510) Bad night (249) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.

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  (402): Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this. http://tfl.nu/da6y
  Replies (48) Good night (510) Bad night (3828) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.

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  (949): i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole. http://tfl.nu/wmi4
  Replies (37) Good night (510) Bad night (3012) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday

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  (440): she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday http://tfl.nu/5s11
  Replies (4) Good night (510) Bad night (490) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?

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  (248): I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape? http://tfl.nu/ekyk
  Replies (32) Good night (510) Bad night (4472) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads

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  (504): so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads http://tfl.nu/yn7g
  Replies (24) Good night (510) Bad night (6971) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay

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  (703): I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay http://tfl.nu/jcra
  Replies (18) Good night (510) Bad night (5975) Order T-Shirt
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.

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  (787): I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers. http://tfl.nu/zztx
  Replies (1) Good night (510) Bad night (784) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?

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  (630): I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room? http://tfl.nu/9f6x
  Replies (11) Good night (510) Bad night (1463)