Texts From Last Night · gaislgrl's Favorites

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gaislgrl's Favorites Texts:

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(815): View more from Illinois

I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.

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(512): View more from Texas

My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.

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(540): View more from Virginia

just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?

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(602): View more from Arizona

Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.

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