Texts From Last Night

Texts from August, 2012

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  (903): View more from Texas

  We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.

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  (903): We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service. http://tfl.nu/lvor
  Replies (4) Good night (630) Bad night (286)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.

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  (501): I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk. http://tfl.nu/v5sh
  Replies (4) Good night (719) Bad night (324) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.

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  (425): I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways. http://tfl.nu/uinc
  Replies (3) Good night (730) Bad night (329)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.

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  (512): While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before. http://tfl.nu/erll
  Replies (7) Good night (1793) Bad night (440) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.

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  (605): Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it. http://tfl.nu/7cyq
  Replies (7) Good night (1091) Bad night (405) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off

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  (914): The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off http://tfl.nu/j2wh
  Replies (6) Good night (793) Bad night (492) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship

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  (813): I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship http://tfl.nu/ql51
  Replies (6) Good night (756) Bad night (376) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.

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  (518): hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person. http://tfl.nu/wx7g
  Replies (2) Good night (845) Bad night (351) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.

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  (501): I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho. http://tfl.nu/d92o
  Replies (16) Good night (1245) Bad night (455)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.

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  (803): I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me. http://tfl.nu/5d5j
  Replies (3) Good night (1878) Bad night (478) Order T-Shirt
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.

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  (928): It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner. http://tfl.nu/2dny
  Replies (6) Good night (976) Bad night (316) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  So stoned i forgot i was in bed

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  (585): So stoned i forgot i was in bed http://tfl.nu/69t5
  Replies (1) Good night (859) Bad night (312) Order T-Shirt
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.

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  (334): Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize. http://tfl.nu/dbij
  Replies (3) Good night (776) Bad night (460) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.

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  (+61): I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/104i
  Replies (10) Good night (1247) Bad night (329) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.

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  (515): At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers. http://tfl.nu/s4no
  Replies (7) Good night (1198) Bad night (613)