Texts From Last Night

Texts from August, 2012

• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka. http://tfl.nu/2nmd
  Replies (7) Good night (1149) Bad night (416) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices? http://tfl.nu/eop4
  Replies (8) Good night (416) Bad night (999) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday http://tfl.nu/9goc
  Replies (5) Good night (1066) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck? http://tfl.nu/s6e2
  Replies (4) Good night (1453) Bad night (422) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud http://tfl.nu/dlrj
  Replies (12) Good night (1513) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard. http://tfl.nu/ug22
  Replies (7) Good night (1463) Bad night (414) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level. http://tfl.nu/wvpb
  Replies (3) Good night (937) Bad night (423) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern. http://tfl.nu/mfwl
  Replies (17) Good night (2053) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point. http://tfl.nu/h06c
  Replies (4) Good night (491) Bad night (1061) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning. http://tfl.nu/kez0
  Replies (4) Good night (1124) Bad night (409) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/awme
  Replies (2) Good night (1084) Bad night (401) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom

  (347): View more from New York

  I can't even drink.

  (646): View more from New York

  The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom (347): I can't even drink. (646): The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples. http://tfl.nu/1cwa
  Replies (10) Good night (1741) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (44): View more from United Kingdom

  All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (44): All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet http://tfl.nu/lx51
  Replies (3) Good night (650) Bad night (1397)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk. http://tfl.nu/c4df
  Replies (2) Good night (429) Bad night (1428) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car. http://tfl.nu/j1re
  Replies (3) Good night (814) Bad night (959) Order T-Shirt