Texts From Last Night

Texts from August, 2012

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  (206): View more from Washington

  I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.

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  (206): I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something. http://tfl.nu/vmm1
  Replies (1) Good night (602) Bad night (393) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.

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  (631): Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition. http://tfl.nu/xj5o
  Replies (3) Good night (1337) Bad night (335) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die

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  (+61): I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die http://tfl.nu/r2qr
  Replies (18) Good night (960) Bad night (548) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person

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  (816): I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person http://tfl.nu/5a3b
  Replies (2) Good night (986) Bad night (303) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals

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  (773): Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals http://tfl.nu/fp9n
  Replies (5) Good night (578) Bad night (546) Order T-Shirt
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?

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  (870): Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk? http://tfl.nu/4pki
  Replies (9) Good night (503) Bad night (963) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.

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  (916): I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother. http://tfl.nu/2nlw
  Replies (2) Good night (717) Bad night (383) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."

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  (239): Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..." http://tfl.nu/k8r7
  Replies (15) Good night (639) Bad night (2163) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You took my underwater blowjob virginity.

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  (304): You took my underwater blowjob virginity. http://tfl.nu/gggt
  Replies (5) Good night (1459) Bad night (332) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?

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  (317): Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I? http://tfl.nu/gm7j
  Replies (14) Good night (1493) Bad night (903) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  no way

  (519): View more from Ontario

  that's when i decided you were gonna be okay

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  (519): you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese" (1-519): no way (519): that's when i decided you were gonna be okay http://tfl.nu/clro
  Replies (1) Good night (1347) Bad night (319)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.

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  (646): I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands. http://tfl.nu/f9cd
  Replies (2) Good night (530) Bad night (776) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.

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  (903): You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss. http://tfl.nu/y1tc
  Replies (5) Good night (460) Bad night (1166)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.

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  (931): I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds. http://tfl.nu/alhy
  Replies (1) Good night (803) Bad night (336) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.

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  (715): I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve. http://tfl.nu/cch7
  Replies (3) Good night (951) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt