He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize