we have officially lost it.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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