rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
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Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
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Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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