You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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