He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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