Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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