hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
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