i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I need a beard to bite.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize