Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
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I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
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We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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