it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
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I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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