Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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