Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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