look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
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We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
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In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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