I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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