i jhust puked up my retainher.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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