Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
