I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize