Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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