dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
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My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
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And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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