well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize