tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize