i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I don't deserve a penis
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
