I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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