ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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