oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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