Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
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He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
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I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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