please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
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The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
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Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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