I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
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I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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