idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
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My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
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What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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