I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
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So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
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I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize