i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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